Shifting from not knowing to knowing

Have you ever noticed yourself saying “I don’t know what to do”?
It feels pretty helpless doesn’t it?

I’ve experienced this a lot along my parenting journey. I have repeatedly thought that my son was put in my life simply to teach me lessons about myself (shout out to all mom’s with bold children).

It wasn’t until I had a conversation with my coach that I was able to consider that there was another option other than “not knowing what to do”.

I presented a problem I was having with my son and said “I just don’t know what to do”.

She didn’t offer me suggestions. She didn’t give me a pep talk and tell me how awesome of a mom I was.

She simply asked me “What if you did know? Then what would you do?”

HUH?!?!

Didn’t she hear me? I already told her I DIDN"‘T know, so how was I suppose to simply shift to knowing?

I was confused. I was a little lost. I didn’t understand.

Until she asked me again “What if you did know? Then what would you do?”

I allowed myself to be still for a second and I trusted that she was leading me to a place in my mind that I had never been before. A place that doesn’t exist outside of my body, but within it. It’s in the depths of me, behind all of the opinions and guidance that is offered to me from outside sources.

So I explored her question and I came up with a few answers.

She said “Y

ep, see, I knew you knew”.

It still felt a little shaky and uncertain. I still noticed a desire to seek validation. I still wanted reassurance that I was on the “right track”.

But that was expected.

Because for so many years I have trusted other people’s opinions more than I have trusted my own knowing. Making the shift to trusting my own knowing was going to take time. It was going to feel a little shaky and uncertain.

But I was ready!

I was ready to work on building my own knowing and having a trust in myself that would be strong enough for any problem. I was ready to break the habit of not knowing and build my habit of knowing.

So I got to work and started noticing how often I said “I don’t know” or even thought it….it was A LOT!

I got discouraged and considered that it was impossible to break this habit, but there was something that just kept bringing me back to what my coach had showed me. When I allowed myself to consider knowing, I came up with ways to know.

It wasn’t impossible, it was just unfamiliar.

This concept continues to grow with me as I grow. I will never master knowing, but I will also never surrender to my thoughts of “not knowing” again.

Now when I notice the “I don’t know” thoughts creep in, I challenge it. I ask myself questions. I explore what I do know and what knowing would feel like.

This has helped me become a more confident decision maker in my life. It has helped me guide my family and friends toward their own knowing. And it’s given me an opportunity to share what’s possible with women that are wanting to build their own knowing.

Are you tired of feeling helpless and uncertain? Do you notice yourself always seeking external guidance to solve your problems? What if the one thing keeping you from your confidence is just your decision to believe that you already have it? Working with a coach allowed me to explore my mind in ways I never knew were possible. If you are curious about what it would be like to work with a coach and how it could improve your life, I’d love to chat. Connect with me via email: kristiemhanke@gmail.com or find me on Facebook or Instagram

Living in Love,

Kristie