Moving from resentment to genuine happiness
If you have ever been in a relationship with someone that you felt resentment or envious of, please take a minute to read on!
Yesterday was oddly familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Like so many parents, our week is FULL of extra curricular activities, which means my husband and I take a tag team approach to get all of the things done. Yesterday was just that......except for the fact that my husband got a last minute invite to play at a prestigious golf course.
This is the familiar part as Craig often plays golf and has a known love for it. He doesn’t get to play at this specific course very often so when he gets an invite he always says yes. The unfamiliar part is how I responded to the circumstances of the day.
You see, in the past he would have asked if it was ok to play and I would have said "yes", but I would have been resentful. I would have huffed and puffed at every single malfunction that happened while he was golfing and would have sent him text messages to remind him of my suffering while he got to enjoy his peaceful golfing experience. I would have been short tempered with my children and called a few of my friends and family to vent, followed by a few "it must be nice" comments. Then he would come home from his enjoyable day to a house full of chaos and negative energy.
Goodness, I'm exhausted just from typing all of this....that's a lot of negativity I was carrying around! The crazy thing was that I didn't know there was another option.
Ok, so fast forward to present day. I am so proud to tell you that yesterday was A LOT different!!! I showed up as the version of myself that truly was happy for my husband to enjoy his golf day. I had ZERO resentment as I managed dinner, homework, carpool and a coaching call. I was even able to remain calm when my dog decided to roll around in the mulch and track in remnants of a bird nest all throughout my house. And to top it off, I was able to be present with my husband as he shared his excitement about playing a course that he describes as his "heaven".
Do you want to know what had to happen in order for me to move from being resentful to peaceful?
I changed. I changed my belief system. I changed from being a person that looks at the world as a collection of people living a life that I could never live to a person that believes anything is possible. I started noticing desires that I wanted in my life and began creating them in my own. I took ownership for what I was thinking and began creating thoughts that guided me to the results I wanted. Instead of being envious and resentful, I was inspired and motivated. Motivated to create my own joy, so that when my husband got opportunities to experience his own, I wasn’t envious. You see, I created so much joy in my own life that I was genuinely happy for him when he got to experience his own.
I promise you, in the past, yesterday would have derailed me and I would have resorted to alcohol and/or screaming and I am so proud to say I didn't need either.
I am sharing this with you in hopes that you or someone you know may relate. Are you experiencing resentment toward someone and you are hoping they will change? Are you thinking that "if they would just do....then things would be better"? If so, please know that I was once in your shoes and prayed for guidance and was lead back to myself. I have since learned that change had to start with me.
If you are wanting change in your life and just don't know just where to start, please reach out to me. I'd love to help you see that the life that you are dreaming of is absolutely possible.